Said Your Two Cents Now It's My Turn, So Sit Down Shut Up ARE YOU READY???

So I don't even know why I am blogging right now. I can barely form a coherent sentence at the moment, let alone an entire blog. Tonight proved to be another interesting trip to Roanoke. Seems to have become a tradition. So have many other things, apparently.....which brings me to the reason I cannot seem to form much of understandable ideas at the moment.

(So this is a warning, I guess. The rest of this post will most likely be very explicit....if you have issues with that, stop reading.)

My opinion? People need to learn how to grow the fuck up. Literally. Twenty-something year olds should not find the need to act like three year olds to get attention. It's just a generally fucked up thing to do. Oh and just because you're unhappy? Doesn't give you the right to attempt to fuck up your friends lives because you don't want them to be happy. If you were really their friend, you'd respect that. Along with the whole acting-like-a-fucking-three-year-old thing......grow some ballz and bring up any issues you have with me to my face. I may be a hypocrite in saying that considering events of tonight, but I have my reasons, and they are not because I am fucking tripping off all the control I have gained. And it fucking amazes me how little common sense some people have. I mean, COME the FUCK on people....it's not that hard. Certain things, you just don't do. Call me a hypocrite, call me a bitch, call me what you want. But I had my reasons....and there is no damn reasonable explanation for some issues with lack of common sense. For one thing, if you hate me? Why the FUCK are you still talking to me?! Most likely thing is, I probably don't want to be fucking talking to you either. So back the FUCK off. And that's another thing....no one knows how to fucking stay the HELL out of other peoples lives and business. If I have issues with someone....it's between me and that person. So stay the FUCK out of it. If some of your friends do something YOU don't like, but they're happy? You shouldn't have issues with that. They're your fucking friends. Give them some damn respect. And I have to say that I am hella bad with non-confrontational people. I discovered that tonight. I can't handle just sitting there and not DOING a damn thing about it! It drives me fucking nuts. I literally cannot handle it. Thus, I take myself out of the situation as soon as fucking possible. I may regret removing myself from the premises....but I know that I'll be back. Because I know me. I won't be able to leave it at what it is. But if you're not fucking ready to confront me if need be? You better DAMN well stay away from situations that could initiate confrontation, until you're ready to grow some FUCKING ballz and do it. And sulking like a child? Doesn't help a DAMN thing...believe me.

It seems to me that at the moment, I am having a repeat of the same thing that happened oh, about seven damn months ago. And that was a time in my life that I never fucking wanted to repeat. Ever. It seems like what I wanted didn't really matter much, now did it. I keep finding all these shitty ways to blame myself about the fact that it's happening again....why did I not see it, I'm so stupid I should have known this time....but none of them can really be justified that well. The fact that the last time this shit happened, I didn't do something about it....I figured if I just left it alone, I'd get the fuck over it. And I didn't, really. I'm sure many people can attest to that. I didn't have enough of a backbone back then to do it. Now I do. I may not be over it, but I have gained many things from having experienced it. Things that can help me in my current situation. And I have hella planned on using those things. But when I got the opportunity, I didn't use them. And that pissed me off (well, that and other things.) I couldn't handle it. Maybe it's just me, maybe I was having a shitty day or something. But I disappointed the hell out of myself. And I fucking hate that. The only thing that would make me not hate that is if I actually went back another time and did it. I'm not saying for a fact that I will have the opportunity again....but if I get it? You can sure as hell bet that this time, I'm going to fucking take it. And you better be fucking ready for it. It's probably about time you stopped acting like a fucking four year old, and grew some fucking ballz, don't you think??