Get Me OUT of This Place

So my family left for Italy yesterday. That's one good thing. Less stress on me, anyway. But I don't leave here until the fourth of January or so. Part of me can't wait to get back, and part of me just wants to say screw it and start over new somewhere else. But I can't run from my problems like that. I hate having things tangles and unfinished....which is how I left everything back at school. I want to go back and straighten everything out, instead of being halfway across the continent dwelling on it. I'm anxious about something...something that puts a pretty damn big smile on my face. Then there is something I am completely scared of...something that makes that smile disappear way to quickly.

I've had way too much free time here, I've decided. Although, a significant part of it was spent with my mother who made it a daily occurance to mention (to my face, nonetheless) how much she wouldn't care if I disappeared off the face of the earth and she never saw me again. Yeah, lovely, right? Welcome to my world. At least they are gone now.

So I have been so bored that I've actually started to write poetry and lyrics again...whcih I haven't done in a while. (except for the whole lyrics thing..I wrote a song a few weeks ago for a certain person) Most of it isn't very good, I haven't done it in a while. But here is part of something I wrote to finish off this EXTREMELY boring blog entry- - -

I see you with her
and I wonder if you know what you are doing
I see you with her
and I wonder if you know what's going on inside her head

I wonder if you know
that she's the one who gets weak at the knees when you look at her
I wonder if you know
that she's the one who waits by her phone for your call

Not me.

When you look at me
I wodner if you know what you are doing
When you look at me
I wonder if you know what's going on inside my head

I wonder if you know
That I'm the one whos body ignites at your touch
I wonder if you know
That I'm the one who is strengthend by memories of us together

Not her.