I Wanted You To Know That I Love The Way You Laugh

He is my perfect guy. I never thought there was such a thing as this. But there is. Back when I could have had him, I didn't want him. I honestly don't think I would have dealt with it well if I would have had him. I wasn't ready for it then. I'm not saying I'm particularly ready NOW....but a lot has changed since we last saw each other. It took a lot for me to finally admit that it had been him this whole time. He was the one who was there for me through everything; he was the one who lent me his shoulder to cry on, even though he knew I probably wouldn't accept it. He was the one who listened to me rant and rave about everything from other guys to the song I just couldn't quite get right at our practices. He was the one who drilled my songs with me over and over again until I was satisfied that they were perfect. He was the one who watched out for me, and made sure I was careful, when no one else cared how safe I was. Back then I thought he was just trying to act like my brother by trying to make sure I was safe, and it annoyed me. Until I found out. After that a lot of things were put into perspective. I was too busy falling in love with his best friend to realize that he was right there through everything. And he cared. Being the good friend he is, he didn't attempt to go after me. But he was always there for me, regardless of our relationship status. That I was sure of. Even if we were to have gotten in a relationship, then ended it for some reason, I knew he would always be there for me. No matter what. And that's a great feeling to have. It's been a very long time since I've felt like that. Too long, in my opinion. But like I said, a lot has changed since I left. I could have had him then, but I didn't know. Now that I know I want him, I can't have him.