Heads We Will Tails We'll Try Again

"Savin' Me"

Prison gates won’t open up for me
On these hands and knees I’m crawlin’
Oh, I reach for you
Well I’m terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can’t hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I’m callin’
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I’m fallin’

Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me

Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me
With these broken wings I’m fallin’
And all I see is you
These city walls ain’t got no love for me
I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I’m callin’
And all I need from you
Hurry I’m fallin’

Show me what it’s like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I’ll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I’ll leave this life behind me
Say it if it’s worth saving me

Hurry I’m fallin’

It's Not Like You To Say Sorry, I Was Waiting On A Different Story

There are times in your life when you know you’ve reached your limit. You can’t possibly take any more. Defeated and slumped over, you feel as if you have reached the lowest of lows. Your nerves are shot, you are completely and utterly numb. Nothing matters, for things cannot conceivably get any worse. You thought you could take it, but now you realize that you cannot. Your emotional strength has been shredded to bits. It’s not worth it to continue down this path anymore. Battered and bruised, you have finally reached the end of your rope. Sanity is a memory at this point.

But then somehow you feel a pull from deep inside of you. Something tells you that you have to keep going. You get up. Things are a bit clearer. You’re pulling on strength you never knew you had. It tugs from deep inside you, pressing you to go on. There is something waiting for you at the end. It’s overcoming your limitations that allows you to see results. You cannot give up, the pull is too strong. It drives you forward, past the points you never thought you would see. Something inside you realizes that the end could very possibly be worth all of this. If you truly love the intended result, you will do whatever you have to to get there.

You know what that pull is? Determination. I am not giving up.

Happy Turkey Day!!

Did I mention I hate the holidays? Anyway so I was bored so I looked up some funny Thanksgiving quotes...so enjoy.

I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts---Arnold Schwarzenegger

What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?--- Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants---Kevin James

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often---Johnny Carson

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

Out Of The Doubt That Fills My Mind I Somehow Find You And I Collide

Una è troppo poco...due sono tante
Quante principesse nel castello mi hai nascosto
Ti voglio bene...te lo dicevo anche se non spesso
Ti voglio bene...me ne accorgevo prima più di adesso
Tre sono poche..quattro sono troppe
Quante quelle cose che hai rinchiuso nel castello e ancora…
Ti voglio bene...e nonostante tutte le attenzioni
Ti volgio bene...dall’altro ieri invece da domani non lo so

Vorrei ringraziarti vorrei stringerti alla gola
Sono quello che ascoltavi, quello che sempre consola
Sono quello che chiamavi se piangevi ogni sera
Sono quello che un po’ odi e che ora un po’ ti fa paura
Vorrei ricordarti che ti son stato vicino
Anche quella sera quando ti sentivi strano
E ho sopportato
Però adesso non rivoglio indietro niente
Perché ormai secondo te ho tutto quello che mi serve
Un applauso forte sotto le mie note
Una copertina ed anche un video forte
Fidanzate tante quante se piovesse
Anche se poi le paure son le stesse
Ora che ho sempre tantissimo da fare
Dici che non ho più tempo per parlare
Ma se solo bisbigliando te lo chiedo
Tu sarcastico ti tiri sempre indietro
E quindi...

Una è troppo poco…due sono tante
Quante principesse nel castello mi hai nascosto
Ti voglio bene...te lo dicevo anche se non spesso
Ti voglio bene...me ne accorgevo prima più di adesso
Tre sono poche..quattro sono troppe
Quante quelle cose che hai rinchiuso nel castello e ancora...
Ti voglio bene...e nonostante tutte le attenzioni
Ti voglio bene...dall’altro ieri invece da domani non lo so

E'che ti sono debitore di emozioni
E’ che al mondo non ci sono solo buoni
Magari questo lo sapevo ma è diverso
Viverlo sulla tua pelle come ho fatto io con te
E fu Latina a farci unire e poi pagare
Una canzone può anche non parlar d’amore
E ancora con tutto il cuore te lo dico
Anche se da due settimane non sei più
Mio amico..

I Turned Around Three Times And Wound Up At Your Door

So I really hate what drugs do to people. I mean, not only do they make people pissy and just messed up half the time, they really do ruin lives. For instance, this one guy I know would have had a great future. He was incredible. He seriously could have gone on in his life and been somebody famous. He had the personality and the talent to do it. Then he started with drugs, and he stopped everything that made him incredibly happy. Basically, he went to shit. Not long after, he became a drug dealer. I'm not trying to be one of those "oh drugs will ruin your life" cliches, but it's true in his case. Now, I knew him well before he got into drugs, and I know him now quite well also. They are two very different people. I really quite miss the old him right now.

Like Sometimes You Just Don't Belong

So this is me venting. Deal with it.

I'm sick of having hope. I'm sick of thinking everything will be all right. I'm sick of never being lucky. I never get cut a break. Ever. I am so tired of that. I'm sick of living at home, and not being able to do what I want. I'm so pissed that I have no where to go or nothing to do BUT stay here. I'm pissed that I can't go to California for the reason I wanted to. I'm pissed that I won't have a job, or a car, or a place to live. I want to leave. I want to start a life somewhere. My OWN life. Someplace where I can have some sense of stability. I don't have that now, never have. I want to live someplace for more then three years at a time. I want to have roots. I want to be able to move to California, and find a place and a job. But I can't get cut a break. I'm never lucky. Every slight chance I have of something GOOD actually HAPPENING for me, gets fucked over, and doesn't happen. I mean, even the most unlucky person in the world gets cut a break SOMETIME in their life. Apparently the gods of luck royally HATE me. What did I DO to piss them off???

You Let Me Down Again When You Ignored The Things I Said To You

Okay seriously, do guys have some kind of built in jack-ass mechanism? Is it just something they turn on when I'm around? "Hey, Laci's coming, lets be a dick." It amazes me how utterly stupid they are sometimes. They really should come with a warning lable. I mean really, do they think that girls are THAT nuts? That we wait around for them to get off their asses and actually CALL? Okay, not all girls are that incredibly desperate, and have that low of self esteem. You can't prey on all of us, sorry. Does it completely not matter to you at all that sometimes we're actually RIGHT? Sometimes it helps to listen to us, saves you a lot of trouble in the long run. Trust me. Sometimes we want to be introduced to your friends. It means something. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is to us. It's the little things that count. Remember that. And, chocolate makes all the difference in the world. Girls aren't stupid, they know that you're screwing them over. Sometimes we just don't want to admit it, don't want to ruin a good thing. But you know what? Shit happens. We deal. It's life. We aren't stupid. Remember that.

You've Made It This Far

Men suck.

It Just Walks In Where You Left It Last

"Amazing"

You paint a picture on the wall
Cause you got a lot to tell me
but you dont think you can say it better, oh baby
You're bringin up times I can't recall
and I'm sure they make your point but
I just can't seem to remember, yeah

I know you got the feeling and I can't say I'm agreeing
with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons and the hints I've been giving
to the thoughts of my imagination

So come on let me sing
I said baby, you're amazing
I want to let you see
You are everything and more to me
I will let you be, I will I will

Cause I saw you walking down the hall
and I had a lot to tell you but I didn't think you could say it better, oh baby
You're good at making me feel so small
and I know you made your point but I just don't want to remember, yeah

I know you got the feeling and I cant say I'm agreeing
with your topic of conversation
So just listen to the reasons and the hints I've been giving
to the thoughts of my imagination

So come on let me sing
I said baby, you're amazing
I want to let you see
You are everything and more to me
I will let you be, I will I will

Cause I'm dancing around in your world of play
I'm taking my time to make sure you stay
I would give my life to make it okay, yeah

So come on let me sing
I said baby, you're amazing
I want to let you see
You are everything and more to me
I will let you be
I will, I will
I said baby, youre amazing
I want to let you see
You are everything and more to me
I will let you be
I will, I will...cause I will, I will

Cast Me Gently Into The Morning For The Night Has Been Unkind

So I thought I'd just start of by saying that this is being written to the background music of my mother singing "I Will Survive" at the top of her lungs.

Anyway, last night was an interesting night. Not like I did anything particularly note-worthy, but interesting nonetheless. I got a couple of messages from my ex and his best friend. Neither was aware that the other was talking to me. But after last night? Neither should exist in the same atmosphere as myself. Let see, what else happened....oh yes, I got told "I love you" twice, by two different people. Neither of them mean anything, unfortunately. I had people coming at me from all angles last night. People I haven't heard from in months, people I talk to every day, my parents; everyone was just on me last night. Too much drama.

I mean seriously, is a simple life too much to ask? Simple relationships apparently are. They never make sense. They never become clear. And they are sure as hell never easy.