Like Sometimes You Just Don't Belong

So this is me venting. Deal with it.

I'm sick of having hope. I'm sick of thinking everything will be all right. I'm sick of never being lucky. I never get cut a break. Ever. I am so tired of that. I'm sick of living at home, and not being able to do what I want. I'm so pissed that I have no where to go or nothing to do BUT stay here. I'm pissed that I can't go to California for the reason I wanted to. I'm pissed that I won't have a job, or a car, or a place to live. I want to leave. I want to start a life somewhere. My OWN life. Someplace where I can have some sense of stability. I don't have that now, never have. I want to live someplace for more then three years at a time. I want to have roots. I want to be able to move to California, and find a place and a job. But I can't get cut a break. I'm never lucky. Every slight chance I have of something GOOD actually HAPPENING for me, gets fucked over, and doesn't happen. I mean, even the most unlucky person in the world gets cut a break SOMETIME in their life. Apparently the gods of luck royally HATE me. What did I DO to piss them off???