There's A Few Things I've Been Meaning To Let Go Of Tonight
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not exactly the type of person to look for the silver lining in situations. I’m usually the one bitching about how badly life sucks, or dispensing relationship advice (which I am not by ANY means qualified to give) with the usual amount of sarcasm I reserve for most subjects. I’m not one to focus on the positive points of things, or to try to cheer people up. I’ve been called everything from depressed and laconic to crazy and fun. But I have never, NEVER been called an optimist. Hence the reason I can’t find silver linings, no matter how hard I look.
My parents decided to have a little talk with me today about where my life is going, and basically how come I haven’t gotten off my ass to do anything about school yet. Apparently they think I am lazy because I tend to not tell them when I find out or do anything that has to do with school. My father said, and I quote, “Things aren’t so black and white anymore Laci. I know you’re not used to it, but in the real world, things are not so black and white.” I know my parents don’t know me that well, but this is ridiculous. If they knew me at all they would know that I NEVER see things as black and white. I never take things or people at face value. I question everything, and analyze everything. Nothing in my life has EVER been black and white. Maybe they think I’m changing or something. But to them, I have been. I’ve gotten a little sick of the charade I’ve been putting on for so long. It’s getting old. I guess I’ve started to show them bits and pieces of the real me, thinking that if they can’t deal with it, well, too bad for them. Bitchy, I know, but I never said I wasn’t.
Back to the silver lining thing. There is none. At all. And God knows I’ve looked for it. Not something I’m used to doing, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I missed it. All of my friends have gone back to school, I haven’t started my new job yet, my family is finally getting sick of having me home - - but not sick of treating me like I am still a wayward teenager who needs to be sent to her room whenever she mouths off. I’m not saying I never mouth off, or whatever they call it now. Now I actually have reason to what I say, and use bigger words. Doesn’t quite qualify as mouthing off anymore. More like stating my opinion. If they knew me at all they would know that I do that very often, regardless of the consequences. I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately, for lack of anything better to do. And I’ve been spending a lot of money, mostly because I usually don’t spend a lot of money on myself, I’m an awful shopper. Apparently my parents now think I’m putting a pair of extremely hot boots ahead of my college education. Well. All right. Anyway, the whole boyfriend thing turned out to be quite short-lived, as did the best friend maybe turned relationship thing. So forgive me if I haven’t been able to find a silver lining in my life lately…well, pretty much at all. Ah, oh well. It’s not what I’m known for anyway, so why try?
My parents decided to have a little talk with me today about where my life is going, and basically how come I haven’t gotten off my ass to do anything about school yet. Apparently they think I am lazy because I tend to not tell them when I find out or do anything that has to do with school. My father said, and I quote, “Things aren’t so black and white anymore Laci. I know you’re not used to it, but in the real world, things are not so black and white.” I know my parents don’t know me that well, but this is ridiculous. If they knew me at all they would know that I NEVER see things as black and white. I never take things or people at face value. I question everything, and analyze everything. Nothing in my life has EVER been black and white. Maybe they think I’m changing or something. But to them, I have been. I’ve gotten a little sick of the charade I’ve been putting on for so long. It’s getting old. I guess I’ve started to show them bits and pieces of the real me, thinking that if they can’t deal with it, well, too bad for them. Bitchy, I know, but I never said I wasn’t.
Back to the silver lining thing. There is none. At all. And God knows I’ve looked for it. Not something I’m used to doing, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I missed it. All of my friends have gone back to school, I haven’t started my new job yet, my family is finally getting sick of having me home - - but not sick of treating me like I am still a wayward teenager who needs to be sent to her room whenever she mouths off. I’m not saying I never mouth off, or whatever they call it now. Now I actually have reason to what I say, and use bigger words. Doesn’t quite qualify as mouthing off anymore. More like stating my opinion. If they knew me at all they would know that I do that very often, regardless of the consequences. I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately, for lack of anything better to do. And I’ve been spending a lot of money, mostly because I usually don’t spend a lot of money on myself, I’m an awful shopper. Apparently my parents now think I’m putting a pair of extremely hot boots ahead of my college education. Well. All right. Anyway, the whole boyfriend thing turned out to be quite short-lived, as did the best friend maybe turned relationship thing. So forgive me if I haven’t been able to find a silver lining in my life lately…well, pretty much at all. Ah, oh well. It’s not what I’m known for anyway, so why try?
posted by Laci04 at 8:35 AM
1 Comments:
Meh, sometimes bitching works.
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