Thursday, May 18, 2006

Everywhere Felt Like Nowhere, Everything Was So Boring

I have a feeling that I am hoping and waiting for something that is never going to happen. Sometimes certain things are just too good to be true. Something always goes wrong. But maybe I'm waiting for something that isn't worth the wait. Maybe I should just forget it and accept things how they come, and live with it. Maybe it doesn't exist at all. Days like today happen and I feel like I've done all I possibly can do to turn things around. I think well maybe I'm just meant to live this way. Maybe some higher power is trying to tell me to stop hoping for something that you're never going to get. I used to think what I was waiting for was going to come. That I'm not wasting my time. That it does happen, just that it's going to take some time. When most people have gone through enough crap, it usually becomes worth it in the end when they get what they are waiting for. I'm begining to think that maybe I'm not most people.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Anything Easy Has It's Cost

Yes it hurts. Considering I trusted him and I never trust anyone. Yeah it sucks. He met my MOTHER for crying out loud. No guy ever meets my mother, unless I think it's worth it. No, it wasn't love. No, it wasn't lust or infatuation either. It was just...something. Was, is, I don't know which one to use. Just frustrates me, ya know....every damn time. It frustrates me even more that nothing BAD actually happened. I was treated well...he never really broke my heart or anything. Doesn't mean it can't hurt. Just gotta remember things are never what they seem.