The Worst Is Over Now, And We Can Breathe Again

Today has been one of those days that makes me want to go to bed at like four in the afternoon just to get the day over with.

So I just sat staring at the cursor blinking on the end of that last sentence for like, ten minutes. Gives you a glimpse of how out of it I am today. Although "Behind Blue Eyes" and "Broken" were good soundtracks for that ten minutes. Lately I feel like I'm floating around above myself, not really here. Like I'm watching myself do all these things on auto-pilot. It's like my body is here, but my mind isn't. My mind tends to be everywhere BUT here lately. Virginia, Florida, California, someone's house twenty minutes away from mine, but not here.

Well it looks like I'm definitely not going to Utah this fall. My grandparents said they already locked up and turned off the utilities in their house, so they don't want me staying there. I found another school in Florida, not the tree-hugging one that was my last shot school before. So it looks like either Florida or South Carolina. Unless I get another one of my whack job ideas and decide to go to England again or something. Which knowing me, it very well may happen. Or I'd go to California to be with my best friend. But so much has changed, her and I rarely talk anymore. She will always be my best friend, but we have our own lives now. It would probably be awkward. It seems to me like the last year and a half of my life I have been changing my mind every five minutes about my school decisions. Where, when, why. Flying by my ass, or whatever that awful cliche is.

I think it took me about three hours to finish this post. I thought it might help for me to try and focus my thoughts on something. Eh, not so much.